


Kings of Paradise

by fghoull



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 03:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10376406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fghoull/pseuds/fghoull
Summary: A birthday massacreA missing friendA mysterious manA new worldJonathan just can't catch a break...





	1. Overture

I never thought love would seem worse than death. Something like this doesn't heal with time, however. Instead, it heals with acceptance and that feels so distant at the moment.

With all the creatures moaning and biting it was hard to really concentrate on what I really wanted in this world.

Yes, love sucks and only leads to heartbreak, but is it really that bad when it's with him? Could it really be that bad if he loved me too? I wish he did, maybe then death would feel worse. Yet, love feels like this impossible beauty that I can't quite comprehend yet. It feels foreign and new. Where has this feeling been all my life?

Did I ever really feel it before him? Before Luke? Why am I so scared to know the answer...

The creatures are closer now and all I can feel is their hands on me and the tearing of skin.


	2. The Forest: Act 1

_Jonathan_

When the quiet is too much to bear, my mind ventures to dangerous places. When I’m alone, I ask myself why I’m still breathing. I’d like to say I knew, but the truth is I couldn’t be more ignorant. There must be a reason. If not, then what’s the point? I suppose even if I don’t know the meaning, that staying on this planet is stupid on its own right, but what am I supposed to do? The only thing tied to this balloon to keep it from flying away are its friends; they are what keeps me glued, keeps me breathing. I know this because when the screen is black, when the call has ended, when I’m alone, I feel hollow. It feels like drowning. In the darkness of ocean, I’m screaming and kicking, gasping for air.

 We all get along so well sometimes, like they’re the last piece to my puzzle. I just wish I could thank them, but we’re almost never serious with each other. They’d probably laugh, but that’s okay. I’d rather have them laugh at me than be worried about me. Wouldn’t you?

The setting I’ve put myself in is different tonight, no longer bound to the confines of my dumpy apartment. Instead of facing the typical roof of my room and asking myself shit, I’m facing something I rarely see. Stars, invisible past the colossal neon skyscrapers of LA. I had almost forgotten their existence. Perhaps it was because of the hideous environment I placed myself day in and day out. The night’s radiant freckles were truly beautiful. We’re all spending the weekend deep in the forest because we’re celebrating my birthday. You won’t believe how hard it was to convince them to come…

_Tyler, Jonathan-3:56 a.m._

_T: fuck no._

_J: C’mon guy, it’s my birthday!!_

_J: DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE_

_T: i already know what this shit’s going to be like_

_T: i’ve seen my fair share of mosquitoes and poison ivy_

_T: not a fucking chance_

_J: Are you shitting me Tyler you’re acin’ like a BITCH_

_T: well this bitch is smart enough to know camping BLOWS (I can capitalize a word for emphasize too whore!)_

_T: you should really reconsider_

_T: how about something fancy or, I don’t know, YOUR FUCKING HOUSE_

_J: Craig has already said yes_

_J: He’ll be very disappointed to see you’re not there…_

_J: Lonely, even…_

_T: …_

_T: fuck you._

_T: okay, fine, but when jason voorhees fucking stabs me through my spine, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your fucking life BIRTHDAY BOY_

_J: :)_

 

And don’t even get me started on David’s response…

“Delirious! Stop having an inner monologue and come check this shit out!” Evan called out from ahead wearing a smile. He followed the winding dirt road along with rest of my friends as we sauntered through the night, our flashlights dancing like fireflies in the dark. “C’mon, I was in the moment.” I playfully cooed and ran forward to regroup. “Shut it birthday boy.” Tyler finally says and playfully shoves my shoulder.

“Guys this is freaking awesome.” Evan brought the spotlight of his flashlight up to the mountains that we circled around. Evan, of course, was taking the lead since about half of us were as drunk as a hooker on a one night stand. “Yeah this place is crazy beautiful. If you look close enough, you can see where the tip ends.” Craig sighed as he scaled up mountain with the flashlight on his phone. “Pfft, yeah, up your butt.” David slurred and hooked his arm around Craig’s neck, a bottle of booze in hand. “Gross!” I laughed before Tyler was able to pull the two apart. “You can thank me later.” He whispered and brings up his bottle to Craig’s face. “Uh…no thanks, you know how stupid I get when I drink.” He cowards as he tries to walk faster away from the group in a pathetic attempt to get away. “C’mon boi, don’t you wanna be like one of the cool kids?” Tyler nagged as Brian whispered subliminal messages in Craig’s ear, “ _Peeeer pressuuuure_.”

“Fine!” He snaps and stops in his tracks, whipping the bottle away from Tyler’s grasp. He chugs the alcohol, streams pouring down his chin. After a minute, Tyler starts to cheer out his name, “Craig I swear if you can chug that whole thing down...” I chuckle as Craig was starting to slip back into an awkward position, sipping the last drops of beer that were left. He then raised the glass above his head and slams it to the ground in triumph as we cheered for him. “You’re my hero Craig.” Tyler gibed in a nasally voice and clung onto Craig. He, in response, spun around and tackled Tyler to the ground jokingly with a bright smile that held down his laughter. “You guys are fucking sick. Can this get any gayer?” Marcel chided as he too took a swig at his own bottle.

“Fuck my asshole.” Brock breathed in Marcel’s ear causing him to spit out his beer and shout, “GET AWAY FROM ME DUDE!” He ran ahead of the group into the night without hesitation. “Shit, we got a runner!” Brock followed in pursuit.

“C’mon guys, the tents are close.” Evan was barely able to say a word after laughing. A minute passes and we’re walking on the dirt path again, our eyes exploring the towering trees that hovered over us like giants, listening to all the different birds chirping and singing, the moon and her children above it all. The moonlight was brilliant and casting its ghostly glow over the forest. It made passing through the night less scary than it would be without it. I could hear all of nature from here. It felt like we were at the center of it all and, for a moment, the world stood still. Even if it was just brief, I basked in it, my eyes wandering until I got lost in it all, twirling around lazily and breathing in the chilling air. Everything else drowns out as I soak it all in. I felt like the only one on this Earth; I felt alive. That’s one thing the city doesn’t have. It doesn’t have the stillness, it doesn’t have the beauty, and it doesn’t have the solitude.

This was a nice pause from life and I didn’t want it to end, no, not yet.

 These moments were always ephemeral. They were never meant to stay, but I wanted them to, I _needed_ them to. It’s so hard living without these moments, and it was even harder when can’t help but look for them. It makes it feel worse when you know they aren’t there.

 We traveled far enough to spot the hum of the fire set by Lui, Ryan, and Bryce during our absence. They all sat by it, s'mores in hands and laughter in the air. Lui was too distracted by his own story telling to hear us drop our bags and slouch back into our lawn chairs, exhausted and checking the time. Our clocks all read 2:16 but it feels later. I blame the booze. I’m so tired, I can’t even tell if I’m drunk or not. It’s almost hilarious enough to crack a smile.

“From the looks of it, that bar must’ve been pretty nice.” Lui laughs as David gets up, lumbering towards the log Lui sat upon. “Um…Nogla?” Lui stares up into David’s lazy eyes with confusion. “Tell me a bed time story.” David is borderline asleep as he struggles with the word ‘bed’. “What do you wanna hear tonight buddy?” Lui’s tone makes it sound like he’s talking to a child. He lifts from the log he sat upon to guide David to their olive-green tent (They struggled the 2nd most trying to make it out of all of us, right behind Tyler and Craig’s neon blue tent).

With one last sigh, Lui zips up his tent, mouthing a “Goodnight,” to all of us.

An hour passes and Marcel and Brock have finally returned. They emerge from the darkness, clothes filthy, hair fixed in impossible angles, and faces full of relief as they both collapse to the ground before us. “Looks like you guys had fun.” I mock, balancing my head over my resting arm. “Don’t.” Brock gives up mid sentence and bursts off in the direction of their tent before any of us could say anything else. “What he said.” Marcel drags his feet with him in Brock’s direction.

 It’s quiet again and all of us are too jaded to even speak. The only thing to fill the silence was the crackling of the fire that was amplified by the lack of sound. It was surprising to see this lively forest going to sleep. We all need a break sometime I guess.

“That’s it I’m going to sleep.” Craig is the first to lift off his chair into the night. Then Tyler, Ryan, and finally Bryce. The only people left were just me and Evan.

It was like he was waiting for everyone to leave, because the moment Bryce enter his tent, he spoke, “Crazy birthday party, huh? I’m surprised everyone could make it. I’m glad though, it wouldn’t be the same without any of them.” He smiles a spotless smile and shifts in his seat. We sat on opposite end of the fire, so it was hard to see where he was looking at when he was talking to me. “Yeah, I still can’t believe it man. Just…I don’t know…thank you. You guys didn’t have to come and…yet here you are.” I try to give the same smile but my lips are too tired to sustain that position. “Hold up, hold up, hold up, hold up. What do you mean ‘you guys didn’t have to come’? Why wouldn’t we come? You’re our friend, of course we’d come. Don’t be crazy…” Evan turns to face the row of tents my friends were all snoring in. “We’ll…I’m...I guess a few of you guys were a little…hesitant…” I try to force a laugh but Evan catches my bluff. “Who?” His sounds more concerned than demanding, which is what I want to hear. “Chill dude, it doesn’t even matter, you’re all here, it’s good.” I exaggerate my hand movements probably because I really want him to believe me so we can just drop it. “Whatever you say man...” I thought that’d be the end of our conversation, but he continued before I could get up, “Just…just don’t be afraid to tell us shit, to tell me shit. I’ll still be here for you man, no matter what.” The words sting like a slap to the face. I can feel my cheeks burn.

“I…yeah…yeah, trust me Vanoss, I believe you, but sometimes…” I gulp down whatever was rising in my throat, “It just doesn’t feel like that sometimes.” As the words escape my lips, I close my eyes, anticipating something horrible in response for sharing my feelings. These were the feelings I kept to myself. They were the one I never discussed because they’re too serious for my friend group. I don’t know why I feel obligated to share them now. Stupid…stupid, stupid, stupid…” Jonathan?” Hearing him whisper my name sends tingles down my spine and causes the hairs on my arm to stand. I hear his feet move closer to me. I can hear him breathing. _He’s so close._ “Please look at me.”

 I’m hesitant. First I stare at his feet, inching my way up to meet his eyes. Looking at them feels like staring at the sun. Yet, the look they held was so gentle and sweet. Irresistible. Handsome.

“Yeah?” My words were so soft, I could barely hear them.

“Listen carefully. Are you listening?” I give a slight nod. “What you say about not feeling like we’re here for you, do you mean that? Do we make you feel…”

“Alone.” The words didn’t feel like they were coming from me. I couldn’t have said that, I would never…

“Don’t be embarrassed.” He bends his knees slightly so our eyes are more leveled. He places a welcoming hand over my shoulder. “I feel like that too sometimes.”

What?

How could…Evan, of all people, possibly feel lonely. I couldn’t picture that in my head. I couldn’t see him in my place; Yet, the look he gave was so serious I couldn’t tell if he was just busting my balls or what. Could he…could he know what this feels like? What I feel like? The longer I wait for a response, the more I fell victim to his charm.

“You don’t look like the kind of guy who’d be lonely. I mean, you have everyone…how could you even...?”

“You have _me_ , and yet _you_ still say you’re lonely…”

The way he said it. ‘You have me.’ I could feel the burning sensation in my cheeks sizzle and pop.

“I guess…You got me there. But I mean like…do you ever just feel lonely, even when you’re around people?”

“Everyday.” I wasn’t expecting a legitimate response. “Look, I know shit may look bad, but you just gotta remember what’s important. You’ll always have us. I know things look bad, but everything will be okay in time. You just have to speak up. Don’t be afraid…” He removes his hand from my shoulder and places it on my knee, “I’ll be with you.”

“Then you do understand. Hah, I mean I could have never guess. Evan Fong: lonely.”

“Shut the hell up Delirious before I smack that smile off your face.” He laughs and I can’t help but laugh along. That’s what his laugh did to you. It was contagious.

“I just want you to trust me. I want you to know that you can come to me and just talk. Any time Delirious, just hit me up, and I’ll be there. I promise you that. I’ll be there.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I felt ridiculous just talking about how I feel. This was so different, it felt like jet packs. I never wanted to stop talking, but something inside me begged me to.

“We should really be getting to bed dude. I’m tired as shit.”

“Yeah, me too.” He raises to his feet and turns to his tent (red of course), already starting to make his way before turning back to me one last time.

“Delirious?”

“Yeah?”

He smiles,

“Happy Birthday.”


End file.
